With Love From an Onlooker
My heart is bursting like a bayonet and there are no
Clean shots, no contenders. They tell me they hope
That I am happy though it is hard.
I exist in an in between, walking on the borderline.
My toes sink beneath the finish line and my hands tell me where to go.
I am smiling in the mirror though my mouth does
Not move and oh, should I go out tonight?
When you walk to the bar, don’t let go of my hand
(Though you never intended to). I am stupidly in love
And I cannot recall if this is the beginning of the beginning of the beginning
Or the end. Maybe I am still choking in a dog
Collar and everyone has gone in for lunch. I am
After myself with an axe. I look
Above the dinner table and think “why not me?” Everyone
Is laughing loving each other hugging eating strawberries
Eating cream I think
Why not me why doesn’t anyone
Stop me from continuing