If i punch you hard enough,
would you come oozing out like yolk?
but did you know I was open the whole time?
I have been waiting with snakes for hands.
You say you want soft, baby’s skull still holed open.
I’ve done my time drinking milk.
What do I say when my first words were fist?
When every time before you I was swallowed alive
and every time I got lazy and unclenched my jaw,
there were fingers in my throat
ready to snap me with a mug of matcha
and a meditation exercise book in mouth.
What do you want me to say?
Every moldy seed coming at me with love
ends in not a single loss
but an amassing.
The ideal of me does not exist.
Dear, what are you looking for?
Do you want me to brush my teeth with you?
I was open the whole time.
Carved wide open like a dry cadaver soaked in pesticide.
You told me I was closed off.
Despite the glass doors
Despite the nakedness.
You just weren’t listening.
I have been open this whole time
I have just learned how to shed my clothes without you looking.