With love



If i punch you hard enough, 

would you come oozing out like yolk?


but did you know I was open the whole time?

I have been waiting with snakes for hands.


You say you want soft, baby’s skull still holed open.

I’ve done my time drinking milk.

What do I say when my first words were fist?


When every time before you I was swallowed alive

and every time I got lazy and unclenched my jaw,

there were fingers in my throat

ready to snap me with a mug of matcha

and a meditation exercise book in mouth.


What do you want me to say?

Every moldy seed coming at me with love

ends in not a single loss

but an amassing.


The ideal of me does not exist.

Dear, what are you looking for?

Do you want me to brush my teeth with you?



I was open the whole time. 

Carved wide open like a dry cadaver soaked in pesticide. 

You told me I was closed off.

Despite the glass doors

Despite the nakedness.


You just weren’t listening.

I have been open this whole time

I have just learned how to shed my clothes without you looking.



Elizabeth Hsieh